But Then Again...

Yep, it’s one of those birthdays… one that ends in a zero and signals the completion of another decade of life. This month, this year, I’m having one of those. While these milestone-birthdays can bring an interesting mixture of emotions, they can also be a positive time of stepping back to reevaluate where we’re going and how we want to spend whatever time we have left.

“Life Is Short…Swing High”

A couple summers ago, I was taking a personal retreat at my usual spot outside of Glenwood Springs in the Colorado mountains. As I do each year, I spent some time on the campus of a small mountain college… breathing in the fresh mountain air, taking in beautiful views, delighted by the wildlife that roam nearby.

Exploring the campus I came upon a large swing set… a bit of an odd sight on a college campus, I thought. On a whim (and since no one else was around) I decided to hop on, eager to harken back to the days of my youth. It didn’t take long to remember how to pump my legs and soon I was soaring high in the sky. It was all coming back to me… the exhilaration of the wind in my face, the rush of adrenaline as I dared to go higher than my adult self would have chosen. I felt young again. Carefree. Like anything was possible.

But Then…

Then something unexpected happened. My stomach was beginning to not feel so good… just a little, then a lot queasy. What? This never happened back when I was a kid. As I waited for my swing to lose its momentum, reality began to sink in. I’m not a kid anymore and apparently, I can’t do all the kid-things anymore.

Yes, life is short, and we do need to “swing high”. We need to step out of our comfort zone and take risks that lead to experiencing and living life more fully. As I get older, I am growing more convicted of this.

While I’m all about inspiration and love quotes that motivate me to be intentional about living my best life, I’ve also come to realize, especially lately, that like it or not, there are certain realities that because of age or circumstance, bring limitations to what I can and cannot do. I’ve heard this referred to as “aging-out” of a particular activity. Like it or not, for most of us, energy, resilience, and physical and cognitive ability typically lessen over time.

The Proverbial “BUCKET LIST”

As most people are aware, the term “bucket list” refers to something that we’d like to do or experience before we “kick-the-bucket”… before our life here on this earth ends. The concept of the Bucket List was made popular by screenwriter, Justin Zackham in his 2007 film, “The Bucket List”. The movie starring Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson, follows two terminally ill hospital roommates as they wrestle with who they are and what they’ve done with their lives, and then join forces to complete a list of things they still want to see and do before they die.

One day my daughter, a teenager at the time, made a casual reference to her “bucket list”. My reply was, “You’re too young to have a bucket list!” As soon as the words came out of my mouth, I knew that wasn’t true. Are we ever too young to think about the things that are important to us? Too young to really think about, explore, and write down what having lived our life to the fullest might look like?

The conversation with my daughter went on to reveal that one of the things on her bucket list was to pick up a hitchhiker. (“Wait, you want to do what?” It was not a bucket list item a mother of a teenage girl was excited to learn about). Still, admirably, she had given these things some thought, and I wondered back then, why don’t I have a bucket list?

Power of the Strategic Pause

Some years back, at a leadership conference I attend each year, a speaker by the name of Juliet Funt (some of you may recognize her last name if you are old enough to remember her famous father, host of the TV show “Candid Camera”) presented the concept of the “strategic pause”. It highlighted the value of taking time-out to THINK… to reflect, evaluate, receive wisdom, and obtain a higher perspective with which to move forward toward important goals.

I’ve always been a big believer in this, and I try to live my life in such a way as to minimize “regret”, but years after that conversation with my daughter, I have to admit that I still don’t have a specific bucket list.

What Am I Waiting For?

So, on this milestone birthday, I’ve decided to take some time out to work on articulating and writing down my own bucket list. Do you have a bucket list? The reality is that none of us knows when age or circumstance might limit our ability to make precious memories with those important to us, or prevent us from doing or experiencing the things we hope to in our lifetime. The good news is that we can step back and reevaluate at any age, and the clarity that we find can be a gift, not only to ourselves, but to others.

What If It’s Too Late?

No matter the reason, most of us are likely to have regrets about things we didn’t do when we had the chance. As for me, I now have some physical limitations that prevent me from participating in activities that many people my age still thoroughly enjoy. I regret not visiting certain places and people. Regret not stepping out and taking more risks when I was younger. Some things that would have been bucket list items for me have either expired because I didn’t know about them at the time, or they’re no longer possible.

When I really think about these things though, I realize that there are still some ways that I can, at least in part, participate in them. With much of the world at our fingertips now through the internet, there is much we can still do virtually… tour a foreign land and enjoy its music and unique sights… imagine what it might be like to climb that mountain or run that race, or experience other adventures by living vicariously through others.

No, it’s of course, not the same and for some of us, we’ll need to mourn the loss of what might have been before we can move on to participate in whatever part of that bucket list item is possible for us. For me, once I make the choice to focus on what I do have and can do, rather than what I don’t have and can’t do, my perspective begins to shift, and I become more grateful and open to possibilities I hadn’t considered before.

To Ponder Until Next Time:

•  Is it time to make a specific bucket list or reevaluate and update an existing one? Consider not only places you might like to travel to or things you might like to experience, but also people you may want to meet or reconnect with, things you might want to explore or learn about, new foods to try, something you’d like to make or create or restore, etc. Is there someone you’d like to make things right with? Even if they are no longer living, perhaps consider writing them a letter to share your thoughts or desire to make amends. Schedule some time now to reflect on these things and when you’re clear, write them down.
  

• Consider making some time for a “reverse-bucket list”… taking stock of what you’ve already accomplished or experienced. Revisit (through photographs or conversations with others etc.) places, people, or experiences you’ve already enjoyed.
  

• Is there someone else you can bless or encourage… perhaps by sharing in their reverse-bucket list, or helping them fulfill an item currently on their list? Is there any insight you might be able to offer to someone else that might bring valuable perspective to them on their own journey?